Are you tending your garden?
I love flowers and I love playing in the dirt. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a flower bed full of blooming flowers and taking care of them makes me happy. I feel like a mom taking care of her babies. I show them attention, make sure they have what they need and in return they thrive. Guess what? Relationships are the same. But I find flowers much easier to take care of than people. Over the years I have found it easier simply because I take care of me first. Sounds selfish but it isn’t. If I take care of me and give me what I need then I am not depleted. I can freely give of myself to others. #Relationships take time, trust, and attention to flourish and grow. Here are a few things I have figured out along the way.
Giving of my attention is important – Have you ever went out to lunch with a friend and they stayed on their phone texting? I don’t know about you but that makes me feel unimportant and frankly irritated. Why have lunch with me if you really can’t be present? My daughter wants me to put her to bed every night. It’s our time to talk, she shares all about the things she may not have told me earlier in the day, she loves to snuggle still even though she is 10. She needs her “mom” time. When we spend this time together I always make sure my phone is somewhere else. She deserves my time and attention. Do we give our friends, spouse, colleagues, clients this same consideration?
It’s the little things – I have two friends that routinely reach out by text or message just to tell me about their day, say hi, good morning or whatever. It means a lot. I know they are thinking of me. I do the same with them. We encourage each other. We want each other to know we care. It may seem trivial but those daily texts are life giving especially when it is a rough day. Just to know someone else is listening and cares is HUGE.
Make them a priority not an option – My life is super #busy. I fill it to the brim and overflowing with things I must do. I enjoy it. But, I must make time for those people in my life that are a priority and I do. Yesterday, I met with a friend who I had not seen in quite a while. She had been working a job that kept her depleted. She has now changed direction and she had some time. We spent 3 ½ hours talking.
Did I have the time in my day? Absolutely not! But you know what? She is worth it. She is important to me. She needed that time with me and I needed the time with her. Work will always be there. To do lists don’t go away. Relationships are what are most important.
I’m far from an expert on relationships but I know these three simple things make a difference. Is there someone in your life that you have drifted away from that you really care about? Are there little things you can do for those special people in your life to encourage them? Maybe it is a client. Those relationships need attention too. What can you do today to let the people in your life know they are important to you?